you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
