dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
