he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
there is glitter all over my balls
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
