I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
