i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize