Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
That was an excessively violent trivia night
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
