Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
