JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
