She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just blew my weed a kiss
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
