Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize