I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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