Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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