my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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