Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
FUCK WHALES
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