Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
