belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
