no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
