Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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