Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
