If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
