I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
