Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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