haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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