"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
