Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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