I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
