Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
