Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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