I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
