Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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