ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize