Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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