a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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