real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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