a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
