If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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