We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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