just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
