the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
