And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
