Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
