We named our party play list daddy issues
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize