I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
