You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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