The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
