Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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