this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
