my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
