So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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