is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
