There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm bleeding and have questions
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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