The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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