I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
