Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I am one with the molecules
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
