he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
