Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
