Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
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