Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
