he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
