I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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