how hairy? two words: wookie tits
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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