I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
