he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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