I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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