He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
