I love black thongs
I just made out with a guy for $7.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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